The Blame Game
Most of us play this game often and sadly
most of us enjoy it too. Isn’t it always easier to blame others for our
mistakes? Blaming always seems so convenient. You might not agree with me on
the part about enjoying it, but take a minute and think about it honestly,
you’ll know for yourself whether it is true or not. But in this game of blaming
each other, have you ever thought about who the loser and who the winner is?
Well, I can’t say who stands the winner;
honestly I don’t think there is any. But I am sure about who the loser is. The
loser is no one else but the one who blames. I have always wondered as to what is it that makes
us fall prey to this vicious habit. Come to think of it, I guess blaming is in
some way like a ‘luxury’ and it is the kind that not just spoils you but also
causes tribulations for you. It is a luxury that overwhelms you with its false
glamour that always projects you as a person who seems to be doing everything
right in his or her life. It makes you sympathise with yourself; always putting
life and people as unfair to you. But remember that every time you blame, you
are marked with a scar of weakness. And you will eventually either for your own
good realise that it is no else but ‘you’ who is responsible for your life or
else unfortunately these scars will consume you to the point that you would
have lost your individuality.
But the bigger question here is, why do we
blame at all? Are we not in charge of our own life? Or are we ashamed of
acknowledging our failures and weaknesses or the person that we are? Or is it
simply the easiest way out?
Be it career, education, relationships or
any other situation in life, blaming is a futile exercise and the only thing
you are doing is spending too much energy finding excuses for not being what
you are capable of being. Blaming is not the easiest way out; it is in fact the
most terrible way out.
Nobody is perfect. We are bound to make the
wrong choices and fall short of accomplishing our goals sometimes. And it is
okay to do so. There will be times when you will be successful and other times
when you won’t. The fact of the matter is that you do not fail when you are not
successful in achieving your aim, you fail when you blame others for the same.
Believe me you will continue to be a non-achiever for as long as you do that.
What you should actually be doing is to look at where you went wrong and then
improvise. Blaming only complicates things; it certainly is not a solution to
any problem.
Even in the case of relationships, there
are times when we find that people do not reciprocate as we expect them to.
This obviously disturbs us and we often blame them for the misery we go
through. But, then we are again are looking at the picture in the wrong way. People
around us mostly treat us the way we allow them to. If people take us for
granted it is because we allow them to, if people think of us as weak or make
fun of us, it is only because we allow them to. People often end up blaming
others instead of looking at themselves and the things they have been doing or
things that they ought to do now. Maybe if you could change the way you react
or do certain things? Or maybe you need to simply let go and move on? Well,
relationships are tricky and sometimes they get too complicated to understand
but surely there lies no point in always blaming the other person. It will only
cloud your judgement or understanding of the situation. When things go wrong,
you’ve got to try to work it out and try it till the point you think you can,
beyond that you can only let time be the healer. And sometimes you need to
simply let go. Believe me there lies no good in holding a grudge against
someone ever, for it only corrupts your mind with negativity. Always remember
the good things that people do. And if there is no good, then learn your lesson
from the bad things and move on.
Remember that this is your life. You can
either control it or let others control it for you. It is when you blame that
you allow others to control your life. Thereafter, it is a life full of
frustration, anger and misery; there is hardly any peace in your life. So learn
to take control of your life. Take on the challenges that life throws at you
with great audacity. And STOP blaming. You and you alone are the ‘master’ of
your life; of your fate!
“When you blame others, you give up the power to
change”- Dr Robert Anthony
