It was a Rainbow.

I haven’t seen too many rainbows.

Just a few over all these years, four or five, I guess.

But I distinctly remember the feeling of seeing one.

Everything that led to its making.

The splurge of excitement when you heard it’s out there.

And the “ahh” moment, when you finally saw it.

Surreal. Magnificent. Enchanting.

Once in a blue moon. Fairy-tale like. Each heartbeat exploding with happiness.

Breathing in the air more consciously, for it seemed different now; more special.

And so, did everything else. After all the rainbow was there.

Love like?

I know that it wasn’t just the rainbow though. It was also everything else around.

It was that light drizzle and the slightly cold and slightly warm but such comforting gentle breeze.

The sun shining wholeheartedly through the soft fluffy grayish clouds that were sprinkled all over. And that stunning almost clear blue sky.

Together they all led to the creation of something spectacular.

Nothing was perfect and yet it was.

All this while that I pondered- trying to make sense out of everything- hoping to give it a name.

Each time I tried, I couldn’t. I think I have begun to understand why.

It wasn’t required.

In all that it was, is and could be – I guess a word would never be enough. How could it even be?

Nothing was perfect and yet it was. Just as surreal, magnificent and enchanting. It was a rainbow.

A rainbow like no other. Even the deepest darkest corner of my heart lit up.

Each hue imprinted forever.

And you?

Well, you are the one that made the rainbow happen.

Dedicated to fall colors.
May all our hearts be imprinted by a rainbow. 

My Wildflower Moment

In the time I’ve had thus far and in the time yet to come, you have always been a moment. Always.

It’s the kind of moment that sticks with you forever; and now wherever I go I carry you with me. 

It’s in my pocket, in my eyes, in the vase placed on my table; it’s in the air I breathe.It’s in my heart. Embedded deep within- like a part of my existence. 

I remember the first time. I guess I always will, it was something special. At least for me. 

You caught me unaware and just like that I embraced you. This was new. 

A moment was created. 

I didn’t know what it meant. I still don’t.

I an amateur artist and you a piece of art; unraveling, demystifying- everyday something new.

In the continuum of life- a new dimension; in my head a new universe. 

I like our conversations. I like our silence. Most importantly I like that this “our” is only mine. 

This moment-I hold it close. An invaluable treasure that life gave me. It’s pure, it’s magical- in so many ways it completes me and yet it never stops me- I grow with it. 

I’ve always been a solo traveler. Guess we all ultimately are. But now with this moment, there is a sense of comfort. I am alone and yet I no longer am alone.

Not everything has to be spoken about. Sometimes it’s the words unsaid that make the bond even stronger. 

There is love, there is companionship, there is friendship and then there is beyond. An existence and a wish - sometimes that’s all you want. 

I’m glad to have found this moment; a stroke of serendipity. In its warmth my heart bounces. In it’s tenderness I feel emancipated. 

I am the wildflower in the forest and you are the wind that caresses me. 

******

Today marks a year since I lost my Eva and her loss has changed my perspective towards a lot things. I’ve been blessed to have had many beautiful experiences in the last one year and I believe she is the reason why I was able to have it all.

Eva taught me the true meaning of forever. She taught me to take things one at a time, to live in the moment and to appreciate everything for what it is. Not everything is meant to happen in the way we want it and to yet be able to understand its value and take it in our stride- she helped me understand that. I guess now I can say that a lot of times how things turn out make life even more special. Therefore, I think it’s befitting to dedicate this piece to Eva- the reason why I could experience something so beautiful. 

Eva it’s been a year since I lost you but not a day has gone by when I haven’t thought about you.

Also, to all the people, who’ve been an important part of my life since forever and to a few important additions that happened in the past one year-  
a heartfelt thank you!

The Concept - I?

Everyone has a something to say.

Everyone.

But what about me?

Why do I feel so lost and so hollow?

Have I not got anything to say or am I too scared to show or am I just living a life of pretence. 

I like the concept- vivid colours.

I’d say if my life were a painting I would like to paint it with ‘em 

But now I no longer know what that means.

What makes me- I know not. Is it you? 

Is it the earth or the stars or the wind ?

Or is it the feeling- pain and hurt behind the smiles- sad eyes with a slight dusty sparkle of hope.

I know not any longer. But I wonder. Everyday- every second. 

I am always on a lookout though I may show I know. But I don’t. Not that I am afraid to show how vulnerable I am.

But yes I’m careful - I want to be. 

My vulnerabilities are mine. I hold them too close to share. What if you just toss it around?

I don’t care if you mock at them. Or maybe I do. But too many times now. I should have learnt my lesson. 

But I have the heart and soul of a dreamer. I love my vulnerabilities and in my world- the one where I reside everyday after having lived in the chaos- if one day I see you there- maybe that’s when I will show you who I really am.

- dedicated to one inspiring evening in New York.