Inconsequential

Read between the lines they said. 

Everything has a meaning to it. 

Hidden? Buried? Always?

That deep thoughtful search. 

That quest for knowing the unknown.

Because we always knew there had to be a bigger picture. 
There is always something more to it? 

And oh that “feeling”. 
That damn feeling that’s only meant to pump blood. 
That thing messes it all up? 

As if I hadn’t had enough already. Only then I had to meet you? 

Adding to the baggage now, am I? 

No wait. Another lesson? 

Jeez! The chain of thoughts won’t stop. 

Live in the moment they said. 

How? That they never told. 

Compartmentalize. Prioritize. Be wise. 

One step at a time. 

More of those words and all that crap? 

Through the truths and lies. 

To everything that seemed black, white and grey - add bit of colour they say. 

That spark? That fire? 

Fuzzy neural network. 

Breathe. Just be. It’s okay. Let go. 

This and that and everything else put together. 
It’s too much. 
Stop!

My heart will burst with joy. 

No. Don’t even try. 
There is a rhythm. And there isn’t. 
Just listen to it or sing to it or dance to it. 
Do as you may please. 

As senseless as these words may seem. 

Meaning or no meaning. 

It doesn’t matter. 

That’s the beauty?

It’s simple. 

After all, it’s love. 

It’s inconsequential, I say. 





-Dedicated to taking chances, to beautiful encounters and to the stars that give hope!

Broken

Broken.
How easy it is to get your heart broken?

And then to get yourself together again only to believe in another?

We deny it. The pain and suffering. Laughing like we don’t give a damn. 

White lies. 

Living a superficial life. 

Look I’m laughing here. Hanging out, getting drunk in this Jazz bar.

Reflecting on what happened. What I was and what I became. 

I never told you what I really felt because when I tried, you didn’t care. 

Stop it now I said to myself. It took a while but when I did there was no looking back. 

My heart ached; it burnt. 

You hurt me. But more than you I was disappointed in me. 

So many whys. None for you though. 

You were gone. Long gone. I felt relieved. 

But the horrors remained. I was damaged.

So much that I wasn’t even aware. 

Piece by piece I picked myself and I’m recovering still. 

Maybe I will never fully heal and that’s fine. But I know I will hold a hand again and love even more deeply. 

Maybe I will find my exceptional; maybe I won’t. 

No, I don’t feel the need to sew the ruptured parts anymore. Why should I ? 

I hold what’s broken with a smile and with each passing day, we grow together; we support each other. 

It ain’t easy but now I’m beginning to get comfortable with both the uncertainty and the possibility. 

In the end, I guess we are all damaged and broken. But maybe that’s what makes us more beautiful too. 

-Dedicated to every broken heart and to the spirit of the city where my heart is! 

Distance

Distance.

A rather strange and beautiful concept. 

Who knows what lies beyond? 
Will we forget each other? 
Is there even a point in that endurance? 

When you said we were infinite, did you ever consider this? 
I thought we were soulmates. But? 

Too many questions now.

It’s something that bothers most.

Harsh. Unwanted. Testing. Maybe destructive.

But to me distance is a miracle waiting to happen. 

It will only make one stronger; us or me and you.

Exactly like the purple sky. 

Warm and cold and so mysterious.

Welcoming you into the dark lonely night only to wake you up to a brighter sky.

Look deeper, there lies much to be discovered. 
Like the speckles of dust that run through the light; every particle that grooves - so magnificent and magical. 
How would you ever notice it, if not for that brief pause?

Quintessential.

I am an old soul; a hopeless romantic. 
If you wouldn’t be so far and I couldn’t breathe you. 
How else would I ever know? 

That sumptuous intimate warmth. 
Much like when two lovers hold hands for the first time. 

-Dedicated to purple skies, stars and great conversations. 
 To every person that matters, far and close; friends and family- Thank you!

It was a Rainbow.

I haven’t seen too many rainbows.

Just a few over all these years, four or five, I guess.

But I distinctly remember the feeling of seeing one.

Everything that led to its making.

The splurge of excitement when you heard it’s out there.

And the “ahh” moment, when you finally saw it.

Surreal. Magnificent. Enchanting.

Once in a blue moon. Fairy-tale like. Each heartbeat exploding with happiness.

Breathing in the air more consciously, for it seemed different now; more special.

And so, did everything else. After all the rainbow was there.

Love like?

I know that it wasn’t just the rainbow though. It was also everything else around.

It was that light drizzle and the slightly cold and slightly warm but such comforting gentle breeze.

The sun shining wholeheartedly through the soft fluffy grayish clouds that were sprinkled all over. And that stunning almost clear blue sky.

Together they all led to the creation of something spectacular.

Nothing was perfect and yet it was.

All this while that I pondered- trying to make sense out of everything- hoping to give it a name.

Each time I tried, I couldn’t. I think I have begun to understand why.

It wasn’t required.

In all that it was, is and could be – I guess a word would never be enough. How could it even be?

Nothing was perfect and yet it was. Just as surreal, magnificent and enchanting. It was a rainbow.

A rainbow like no other. Even the deepest darkest corner of my heart lit up.

Each hue imprinted forever.

And you?

Well, you are the one that made the rainbow happen.

Dedicated to fall colors.
May all our hearts be imprinted by a rainbow. 

My Wildflower Moment

In the time I’ve had thus far and in the time yet to come, you have always been a moment. Always.

It’s the kind of moment that sticks with you forever; and now wherever I go I carry you with me. 

It’s in my pocket, in my eyes, in the vase placed on my table; it’s in the air I breathe.It’s in my heart. Embedded deep within- like a part of my existence. 

I remember the first time. I guess I always will, it was something special. At least for me. 

You caught me unaware and just like that I embraced you. This was new. 

A moment was created. 

I didn’t know what it meant. I still don’t.

I an amateur artist and you a piece of art; unraveling, demystifying- everyday something new.

In the continuum of life- a new dimension; in my head a new universe. 

I like our conversations. I like our silence. Most importantly I like that this “our” is only mine. 

This moment-I hold it close. An invaluable treasure that life gave me. It’s pure, it’s magical- in so many ways it completes me and yet it never stops me- I grow with it. 

I’ve always been a solo traveler. Guess we all ultimately are. But now with this moment, there is a sense of comfort. I am alone and yet I no longer am alone.

Not everything has to be spoken about. Sometimes it’s the words unsaid that make the bond even stronger. 

There is love, there is companionship, there is friendship and then there is beyond. An existence and a wish - sometimes that’s all you want. 

I’m glad to have found this moment; a stroke of serendipity. In its warmth my heart bounces. In it’s tenderness I feel emancipated. 

I am the wildflower in the forest and you are the wind that caresses me. 

******

Today marks a year since I lost my Eva and her loss has changed my perspective towards a lot things. I’ve been blessed to have had many beautiful experiences in the last one year and I believe she is the reason why I was able to have it all.

Eva taught me the true meaning of forever. She taught me to take things one at a time, to live in the moment and to appreciate everything for what it is. Not everything is meant to happen in the way we want it and to yet be able to understand its value and take it in our stride- she helped me understand that. I guess now I can say that a lot of times how things turn out make life even more special. Therefore, I think it’s befitting to dedicate this piece to Eva- the reason why I could experience something so beautiful. 

Eva it’s been a year since I lost you but not a day has gone by when I haven’t thought about you.

Also, to all the people, who’ve been an important part of my life since forever and to a few important additions that happened in the past one year-  
a heartfelt thank you!

The Concept - I?

Everyone has a something to say.

Everyone.

But what about me?

Why do I feel so lost and so hollow?

Have I not got anything to say or am I too scared to show or am I just living a life of pretence. 

I like the concept- vivid colours.

I’d say if my life were a painting I would like to paint it with ‘em 

But now I no longer know what that means.

What makes me- I know not. Is it you? 

Is it the earth or the stars or the wind ?

Or is it the feeling- pain and hurt behind the smiles- sad eyes with a slight dusty sparkle of hope.

I know not any longer. But I wonder. Everyday- every second. 

I am always on a lookout though I may show I know. But I don’t. Not that I am afraid to show how vulnerable I am.

But yes I’m careful - I want to be. 

My vulnerabilities are mine. I hold them too close to share. What if you just toss it around?

I don’t care if you mock at them. Or maybe I do. But too many times now. I should have learnt my lesson. 

But I have the heart and soul of a dreamer. I love my vulnerabilities and in my world- the one where I reside everyday after having lived in the chaos- if one day I see you there- maybe that’s when I will show you who I really am.

- dedicated to one inspiring evening in New York. 

Make a change? Be You.

Make a change? Be You.

Change. So recently my life has undergone a pretty major change. I completed my graduation and am now going to firsthand experience the much criticized and coveted- corporate world. So obviously there are many aspects of my life that are different now and many that will change in the near future. So, while the prospect of change is accepted and understood fairly well by the majority of earthlings, I decided to look at it from a different and deeper perspective; to understand the dynamics of this process and see if there is a way to make it better or easier or both.

They say that the only constant thing in the world is change. It indeed is. Our surroundings are constantly changing; people, roads, buildings, technology etc and obviously we as individuals are also going through a constant change. There is absolutely nothing on this planet that is devoid of the process and its effects. Right from the beginning of the human civilization, it has undergone many changes; some great and some not so great. I, also believe that one of the most crucial facets of the many elements of change has been ‘ideology’. It is this that has so far shaped and moulded our society and us into what we are today and is continuing to still, as I am typing this article.

A change could be and mean many things. Nothing puts this better than the words of King Whitney Jr.,“Change to the fearful is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better”.

Basically, it could be slow or fast, we may like it or dislike it, accept it or revolt against it, we may be aware of it or not, but a change will happen. And most importantly either way, it will change something in us. In fact in today’s world change is the new fashion and the kind that moves at the speed of an eye blink. And the people seem to have accepted it pretty well. Though the change I am talking about is mostly from a materialistic point of view, even then so it ends up changing something within us. Because every time a change occurs and in whichever form it may be, it evokes an emotion within us; sometimes strong enough to change the way we look at things. And yes, the object could be as ‘trivial’ as a mobile phone.

Now, I think we can broadly categorize change into two kinds: one when the change happens around us and we get affected by it and second when we are the ones making a change. My focus in this article is on the latter. So exactly what happens when we decide to make a change? What are our chances of succeeding? Why is it that we fail at doing that?

Well, firstly the change that you intend to make could either be a personal one or it could be related to your external environment. But remember that even in the case where it does not appear personal, it actually is. Every change that you decide to make is in one way or another related to you. Why? Simply because, the idea of it originates from you. So after you have taken the decision to make a change the first thing you need to do is look into yourself. Having a clear picture and idea about the change needed to be made, is important. Analyse and assess what you are today and what do you see yourself as a result of the change. But the most important and crucial aspect of any change is honesty. The process is actually quite easy-going but the moment you are not honest to the cause is where the complications begin to arise. If you cannot accept who you are today you will never be able to accomplish your objective. Instead of the change happening for good, it will just make life more convoluted for you. And even worse, you will come out as a person who is under-confident and unsure about not just your life but yourself as well.

You know when a change has to be made the process needn’t be as mechanical as we tend to make it. It’s just like eating food. You can gulp it down your throat and make it as boring and monotonous an affair. Or you can chew it in your mouth, relish the flavour and make the meal an enjoyable one. To really benefit from eating and to get that healthy glow of nutrition, one must enjoy their meal. So is the case with making a change.

They say the mantra of a successful life lies in the ability to accept or make a change. Mostly all of us agree on that. Don’t we?  Well, I could have written about that but I think it would have been just re-stating the obvious. I, instead, chose to write about the things that maybe small but I believe are very crucial to a change; things that we overlook. But it is these little things that’ll make you stand out even amongst the successful. Real success is not just about making a change it is about realizing how important it is to savour the whole process of making one and being honest with it.

Yes, making a change is not an easy thing to do. It’s irrefutable that you will face many hurdles. But truth be told, there is no bigger hurdle in life than we can be for ourselves. So remember to be truly successful and satisfied in making a change, begin by being ‘YOU’.