Ephemeral Petals

There was nothing special about last night

Mundane chores, restricted smiles, a drop of tear and lots of courage

But the morning that followed was unexpected; a miracle maybe. 

It was exceptional.

Now, imagine a day so beautiful

The brightest and most stunning blue sky

Warm, golden rays dancing on your skin

Soft melodious breeze, making your heart giggle

And you walk into an orchard blooming with cherry blossoms

Ah! That spectacular view, those delicate pink and white flowers

Their sublime freshness flowing deep into the heart,

Healing each crevice and making the eyes glisten with hope

A drop of tear ran down my cheek

I felt happy; it had been a while

A beautiful chance had encountered me

I danced to the beats of serendipity

In your laughter, my sadness found company

In your fragrance, I found solace

And in your embrace, I found a new home

I was aware that time was less

So, I read a few pages of the book we bought together and listened to our favorite songs

I took a mental picture of you every second, so I had a million of them to look back upon

I observed you, breathed you; I found myself submerged in your divinity

It’s the boundaries that made us infinite

Cherry blossom seasons don’t last for too long

They don’t even exist everywhere

So rare and unique, reminding us of the ambiguity and fragility of life

And if you are lucky, you’ll live to experience one.

I haven’t experienced one yet

However, I’ve been luckier

I found my very own cherry blossom

You.

As the night was drawing closer

My heart yearned and wished for a shooting star to pass by

But if only wishes came true, for I wanted to make just one more

Cherry blossom be mine.

Forever.

                                                           ******

Today, marks the fourth birthday of my adorable pet, Eva. Both, her presence and loss changed my life forever. She taught me to live each day as it comes and to appreciate and be thankful for everything life has to offer. She also taught me that loving and letting go are intertwined. Letting go does not mean you stop loving but it means accepting, appreciating and growing. I realized that with time true love only grows and you grow along with it. It's not meant to curtail your wings but to help you soar higher. Most importantly, she taught me that forever exists only in today. 

Eva, I love you more every day and not a day goes by when I don’t think of you.

Also, a heartfelt thank you to all my loved ones - friends and family, near and far - life wouldn't be the same without you guys.

- Dedicated to the one who shines the brightest blue in my personal sky of stars. I love you.

Inconsequential

Read between the lines they said. 

Everything has a meaning to it. 

Hidden? Buried? Always?

That deep thoughtful search. 

That quest for knowing the unknown.

Because we always knew there had to be a bigger picture. 
There is always something more to it? 

And oh that “feeling”. 
That damn feeling that’s only meant to pump blood. 
That thing messes it all up? 

As if I hadn’t had enough already. Only then I had to meet you? 

Adding to the baggage now, am I? 

No wait. Another lesson? 

Jeez! The chain of thoughts won’t stop. 

Live in the moment they said. 

How? That they never told. 

Compartmentalize. Prioritize. Be wise. 

One step at a time. 

More of those words and all that crap? 

Through the truths and lies. 

To everything that seemed black, white and grey - add bit of colour they say. 

That spark? That fire? 

Fuzzy neural network. 

Breathe. Just be. It’s okay. Let go. 

This and that and everything else put together. 
It’s too much. 
Stop!

My heart will burst with joy. 

No. Don’t even try. 
There is a rhythm. And there isn’t. 
Just listen to it or sing to it or dance to it. 
Do as you may please. 

As senseless as these words may seem. 

Meaning or no meaning. 

It doesn’t matter. 

That’s the beauty?

It’s simple. 

After all, it’s love. 

It’s inconsequential, I say. 





-Dedicated to taking chances, to beautiful encounters and to the stars that give hope!

Broken

Broken.
How easy it is to get your heart broken?

And then to get yourself together again only to believe in another?

We deny it. The pain and suffering. Laughing like we don’t give a damn. 

White lies. 

Living a superficial life. 

Look I’m laughing here. Hanging out, getting drunk in this Jazz bar.

Reflecting on what happened. What I was and what I became. 

I never told you what I really felt because when I tried, you didn’t care. 

Stop it now I said to myself. It took a while but when I did there was no looking back. 

My heart ached; it burnt. 

You hurt me. But more than you I was disappointed in me. 

So many whys. None for you though. 

You were gone. Long gone. I felt relieved. 

But the horrors remained. I was damaged.

So much that I wasn’t even aware. 

Piece by piece I picked myself and I’m recovering still. 

Maybe I will never fully heal and that’s fine. But I know I will hold a hand again and love even more deeply. 

Maybe I will find my exceptional; maybe I won’t. 

No, I don’t feel the need to sew the ruptured parts anymore. Why should I ? 

I hold what’s broken with a smile and with each passing day, we grow together; we support each other. 

It ain’t easy but now I’m beginning to get comfortable with both the uncertainty and the possibility. 

In the end, I guess we are all damaged and broken. But maybe that’s what makes us more beautiful too. 

-Dedicated to every broken heart and to the spirit of the city where my heart is! 

Distance

Distance.

A rather strange and beautiful concept. 

Who knows what lies beyond? 
Will we forget each other? 
Is there even a point in that endurance? 

When you said we were infinite, did you ever consider this? 
I thought we were soulmates. But? 

Too many questions now.

It’s something that bothers most.

Harsh. Unwanted. Testing. Maybe destructive.

But to me distance is a miracle waiting to happen. 

It will only make one stronger; us or me and you.

Exactly like the purple sky. 

Warm and cold and so mysterious.

Welcoming you into the dark lonely night only to wake you up to a brighter sky.

Look deeper, there lies much to be discovered. 
Like the speckles of dust that run through the light; every particle that grooves - so magnificent and magical. 
How would you ever notice it, if not for that brief pause?

Quintessential.

I am an old soul; a hopeless romantic. 
If you wouldn’t be so far and I couldn’t breathe you. 
How else would I ever know? 

That sumptuous intimate warmth. 
Much like when two lovers hold hands for the first time. 

-Dedicated to purple skies, stars and great conversations. 
 To every person that matters, far and close; friends and family- Thank you!

It was a Rainbow.

I haven’t seen too many rainbows.

Just a few over all these years, four or five, I guess.

But I distinctly remember the feeling of seeing one.

Everything that led to its making.

The splurge of excitement when you heard it’s out there.

And the “ahh” moment, when you finally saw it.

Surreal. Magnificent. Enchanting.

Once in a blue moon. Fairy-tale like. Each heartbeat exploding with happiness.

Breathing in the air more consciously, for it seemed different now; more special.

And so, did everything else. After all the rainbow was there.

Love like?

I know that it wasn’t just the rainbow though. It was also everything else around.

It was that light drizzle and the slightly cold and slightly warm but such comforting gentle breeze.

The sun shining wholeheartedly through the soft fluffy grayish clouds that were sprinkled all over. And that stunning almost clear blue sky.

Together they all led to the creation of something spectacular.

Nothing was perfect and yet it was.

All this while that I pondered- trying to make sense out of everything- hoping to give it a name.

Each time I tried, I couldn’t. I think I have begun to understand why.

It wasn’t required.

In all that it was, is and could be – I guess a word would never be enough. How could it even be?

Nothing was perfect and yet it was. Just as surreal, magnificent and enchanting. It was a rainbow.

A rainbow like no other. Even the deepest darkest corner of my heart lit up.

Each hue imprinted forever.

And you?

Well, you are the one that made the rainbow happen.

Dedicated to fall colors.
May all our hearts be imprinted by a rainbow. 

My Wildflower Moment

In the time I’ve had thus far and in the time yet to come, you have always been a moment. Always.

It’s the kind of moment that sticks with you forever; and now wherever I go I carry you with me. 

It’s in my pocket, in my eyes, in the vase placed on my table; it’s in the air I breathe.It’s in my heart. Embedded deep within- like a part of my existence. 

I remember the first time. I guess I always will, it was something special. At least for me. 

You caught me unaware and just like that I embraced you. This was new. 

A moment was created. 

I didn’t know what it meant. I still don’t.

I an amateur artist and you a piece of art; unraveling, demystifying- everyday something new.

In the continuum of life- a new dimension; in my head a new universe. 

I like our conversations. I like our silence. Most importantly I like that this “our” is only mine. 

This moment-I hold it close. An invaluable treasure that life gave me. It’s pure, it’s magical- in so many ways it completes me and yet it never stops me- I grow with it. 

I’ve always been a solo traveler. Guess we all ultimately are. But now with this moment, there is a sense of comfort. I am alone and yet I no longer am alone.

Not everything has to be spoken about. Sometimes it’s the words unsaid that make the bond even stronger. 

There is love, there is companionship, there is friendship and then there is beyond. An existence and a wish - sometimes that’s all you want. 

I’m glad to have found this moment; a stroke of serendipity. In its warmth my heart bounces. In it’s tenderness I feel emancipated. 

I am the wildflower in the forest and you are the wind that caresses me. 

******

Today marks a year since I lost my Eva and her loss has changed my perspective towards a lot things. I’ve been blessed to have had many beautiful experiences in the last one year and I believe she is the reason why I was able to have it all.

Eva taught me the true meaning of forever. She taught me to take things one at a time, to live in the moment and to appreciate everything for what it is. Not everything is meant to happen in the way we want it and to yet be able to understand its value and take it in our stride- she helped me understand that. I guess now I can say that a lot of times how things turn out make life even more special. Therefore, I think it’s befitting to dedicate this piece to Eva- the reason why I could experience something so beautiful. 

Eva it’s been a year since I lost you but not a day has gone by when I haven’t thought about you.

Also, to all the people, who’ve been an important part of my life since forever and to a few important additions that happened in the past one year-  
a heartfelt thank you!

The Concept - I?

Everyone has a something to say.

Everyone.

But what about me?

Why do I feel so lost and so hollow?

Have I not got anything to say or am I too scared to show or am I just living a life of pretence. 

I like the concept- vivid colours.

I’d say if my life were a painting I would like to paint it with ‘em 

But now I no longer know what that means.

What makes me- I know not. Is it you? 

Is it the earth or the stars or the wind ?

Or is it the feeling- pain and hurt behind the smiles- sad eyes with a slight dusty sparkle of hope.

I know not any longer. But I wonder. Everyday- every second. 

I am always on a lookout though I may show I know. But I don’t. Not that I am afraid to show how vulnerable I am.

But yes I’m careful - I want to be. 

My vulnerabilities are mine. I hold them too close to share. What if you just toss it around?

I don’t care if you mock at them. Or maybe I do. But too many times now. I should have learnt my lesson. 

But I have the heart and soul of a dreamer. I love my vulnerabilities and in my world- the one where I reside everyday after having lived in the chaos- if one day I see you there- maybe that’s when I will show you who I really am.

- dedicated to one inspiring evening in New York.