The Grey Where Love Is

All my life I’ve lived in black and white
Or at least I thought so
My grandma told me stories of right and wrong.
So many wars fought.
So many lives lost.
So many hearts broken.

Most people like the rain and so did I
But only until recently when I finally understood what it meant to fly; free and uninhibited
So, for me it’s neither the rain and nor when those dark dense clouds begin to appear
It’s the moment in between
When the first light drizzle falls on the ground and the earth finally breathes.
Oh that fragrance! Warm and comforting

Just like you.

They say people can find love anywhere
Or that magical things happen when you least expect them
I guess I never really believed that
Because I’ve always been the practical kind

You see I’ve been hurt too many times
I try to hide the scars but then it gets unbearable and I decide to let go
Only realizing later that I’m fragile
Much like that dainty little bird flying in the sky

But then us happened
I’m not sure if I felt it the first time we met
Who knew we’d be this special
To me being with you felt just like that moment
Only this time I breathed.

I liked all our conversations
When our eyes met and said the unspoken
Those long nights that seemed too short because I never wanted us to stop talking
To when our heartbeats met when our bodies intertwined
And through all the silences when you held my hand

You and I are different
We were never just simply black and white
There was never any wrong or right
And there was no heart left broken

No, this wasn’t simple
Everything about us was convoluted
And yet it seemed so easy; so real.
After all, you were that fragrance; warm and comforting
And we are the grey where love is.



- Dedicated to and inspired by my soul-sister and chosen family. I wish for you to keep flying high; free and uninhibited.

Everyday Grateful. Everyday Phenomenal.

All in all life is good.

Let’s start on that note.

Positive vibes only!

Nothing is constant.

Sans the daily mundane chores?

Dear Routine, you confuse me

You are edgy, distressing and oddly comforting; atrociously charming

Each morning unlike the other and yet the same.

Sometimes the sun is friendly, sometimes the clouds are harsh.

But the path I take to work is the same.

Every night the bed feels familiar only the creases on sheet much different.

Even in this unsymmetrical world

We are all looking for symmetries

Patterns make us feel comfortable

Yet we all want to break the glass ceiling

Every time that I make another list

I frown a little thinking how many more

They say you only live once

Life is too short; make the most of it

Stop, relax and take a deep breath

But in that moment I do it again.

I make a list.

Things I want to do

Places I want to visit

People I want to meet

The unsaid sorry’s

All the times I wish I had said I love you

The many hugs that I was reluctant about

Those tears I held back

Times I wish I had smiled more

The moments I wish I had enjoyed more

When I should have spoken with my heart and told exactly how I felt

Situations when I put too much pressure on myself

All those tasks done well, when I should have appreciated myself

The number of times I decided to not look back and move ahead

Times I failed and succeeded and when I was mediocre

The items on this action list are infinite

Eventually it becomes monotonous

We feel tired

And life simply goes on

But hey listen

Life isn’t meant to be perfect

Who hasn’t made mistakes?

We’ve all made bad choices

But also remember

The times you did well

All the right choices you made

Moments that felt like a struggle but you fought hard and well

Times you took a stand and supported your friend

When you made your loved ones proud

We are all a beautiful mess

Believe in yourself

Be proud of who you are

Every once in a while take a break

Just go out for a walk; alone or with your loved ones

And while on that stroll take mental pictures

Enjoy the surroundings; smile and feel at peace

Hold a hand, listen to the birds sing

Just breathe

Most importantly, remember to be grateful

Because everyday is phenomenal.

-Dedicated to impromptu walks, cherry blossom season, friends and family. 

Fluttering Beings and Feelings!

But what is life?

Look around you.
Do you feel the pace of time?
Bat an eyelid and much changes
From You and I to Us, and back to I
We’ve come a long way; many times
Over and over

Look into the eyes of others
Do you feel what they feel?
When we breathe the same,
Eat the same, feel the same!
The way our heart bounces when we fall in love,
The pain when we lose someone.

Feeling lost in the crowd
And yet smiling because we are the crowd.
We deny being judgmental only to limit others in our boxes of perception.
Who isn’t criticizing or cribbing or being skeptical?

Differences do exist; stark and plenty.
Each one just as unique and beautiful.
Physical. Circumstantial. Mental. Emotional.

No two hands look the same
Yet when the hands of two lovers intertwine the first time, 

The spark they feel; I guess that’s the same.
No two eyes alike
But have you ever observed the intensity and warmth of the stealing glances of a couple in making?

Do you feel it too? What others feel?
They. Them. Those.
I wonder who? Maybe everyone.
The madness of struggle in this hustle and bustle is real and so is the hope.
To wake up each morning and tell yourself that today will be better, ain’t easy.

I think we are all brave; finding our way around and trying to moving forward.

It’s okay to make mistakes.
And to feel sad, broken and hurt
To fall and fail, again and again and again; that’s okay too.
Look around closely, you aren’t the only one.
We are all in the process of learning

Once in a while, take a pause and just breathe. 

Be more appreciative of yourself and others.
In this magnificent chaos of differences and similarities, 

We are fortunate if we’ve found comforting company.

Maybe we value each other too less.
Maybe we are too self absorbed.
Maybe we are just who we are
Asking too many questions or not asking enough
In the end I guess, we are all just fluttering beings with fluttering feelings.

- Dedicated to the spirit of comforting friendships/relationships. 

And to those who have felt or are feeling lonely, remember we all do and you will be fine because you are amazing. Cheers!

Vidula and Darshita - heartfelt thank you :)

Ephemeral Petals

There was nothing special about last night

Mundane chores, restricted smiles, a drop of tear and lots of courage

But the morning that followed was unexpected; a miracle maybe. 

It was exceptional.

Now, imagine a day so beautiful

The brightest and most stunning blue sky

Warm, golden rays dancing on your skin

Soft melodious breeze, making your heart giggle

And you walk into an orchard blooming with cherry blossoms

Ah! That spectacular view, those delicate pink and white flowers

Their sublime freshness flowing deep into the heart,

Healing each crevice and making the eyes glisten with hope

A drop of tear ran down my cheek

I felt happy; it had been a while

A beautiful chance had encountered me

I danced to the beats of serendipity

In your laughter, my sadness found company

In your fragrance, I found solace

And in your embrace, I found a new home

I was aware that time was less

So, I read a few pages of the book we bought together and listened to our favorite songs

I took a mental picture of you every second, so I had a million of them to look back upon

I observed you, breathed you; I found myself submerged in your divinity

It’s the boundaries that made us infinite

Cherry blossom seasons don’t last for too long

They don’t even exist everywhere

So rare and unique, reminding us of the ambiguity and fragility of life

And if you are lucky, you’ll live to experience one.

I haven’t experienced one yet

However, I’ve been luckier

I found my very own cherry blossom

You.

As the night was drawing closer

My heart yearned and wished for a shooting star to pass by

But if only wishes came true, for I wanted to make just one more

Cherry blossom be mine.

Forever.

                                                           ******

Today, marks the fourth birthday of my adorable pet, Eva. Both, her presence and loss changed my life forever. She taught me to live each day as it comes and to appreciate and be thankful for everything life has to offer. She also taught me that loving and letting go are intertwined. Letting go does not mean you stop loving but it means accepting, appreciating and growing. I realized that with time true love only grows and you grow along with it. It's not meant to curtail your wings but to help you soar higher. Most importantly, she taught me that forever exists only in today. 

Eva, I love you more every day and not a day goes by when I don’t think of you.

Also, a heartfelt thank you to all my loved ones - friends and family, near and far - life wouldn't be the same without you guys.

- Dedicated to the one who shines the brightest blue in my personal sky of stars. I love you.

Inconsequential

Read between the lines they said. 

Everything has a meaning to it. 

Hidden? Buried? Always?

That deep thoughtful search. 

That quest for knowing the unknown.

Because we always knew there had to be a bigger picture. 
There is always something more to it? 

And oh that “feeling”. 
That damn feeling that’s only meant to pump blood. 
That thing messes it all up? 

As if I hadn’t had enough already. Only then I had to meet you? 

Adding to the baggage now, am I? 

No wait. Another lesson? 

Jeez! The chain of thoughts won’t stop. 

Live in the moment they said. 

How? That they never told. 

Compartmentalize. Prioritize. Be wise. 

One step at a time. 

More of those words and all that crap? 

Through the truths and lies. 

To everything that seemed black, white and grey - add bit of colour they say. 

That spark? That fire? 

Fuzzy neural network. 

Breathe. Just be. It’s okay. Let go. 

This and that and everything else put together. 
It’s too much. 
Stop!

My heart will burst with joy. 

No. Don’t even try. 
There is a rhythm. And there isn’t. 
Just listen to it or sing to it or dance to it. 
Do as you may please. 

As senseless as these words may seem. 

Meaning or no meaning. 

It doesn’t matter. 

That’s the beauty?

It’s simple. 

After all, it’s love. 

It’s inconsequential, I say. 





-Dedicated to taking chances, to beautiful encounters and to the stars that give hope!

Broken

Broken.
How easy it is to get your heart broken?

And then to get yourself together again only to believe in another?

We deny it. The pain and suffering. Laughing like we don’t give a damn. 

White lies. 

Living a superficial life. 

Look I’m laughing here. Hanging out, getting drunk in this Jazz bar.

Reflecting on what happened. What I was and what I became. 

I never told you what I really felt because when I tried, you didn’t care. 

Stop it now I said to myself. It took a while but when I did there was no looking back. 

My heart ached; it burnt. 

You hurt me. But more than you I was disappointed in me. 

So many whys. None for you though. 

You were gone. Long gone. I felt relieved. 

But the horrors remained. I was damaged.

So much that I wasn’t even aware. 

Piece by piece I picked myself and I’m recovering still. 

Maybe I will never fully heal and that’s fine. But I know I will hold a hand again and love even more deeply. 

Maybe I will find my exceptional; maybe I won’t. 

No, I don’t feel the need to sew the ruptured parts anymore. Why should I ? 

I hold what’s broken with a smile and with each passing day, we grow together; we support each other. 

It ain’t easy but now I’m beginning to get comfortable with both the uncertainty and the possibility. 

In the end, I guess we are all damaged and broken. But maybe that’s what makes us more beautiful too. 

-Dedicated to every broken heart and to the spirit of the city where my heart is! 

Distance

Distance.

A rather strange and beautiful concept. 

Who knows what lies beyond? 
Will we forget each other? 
Is there even a point in that endurance? 

When you said we were infinite, did you ever consider this? 
I thought we were soulmates. But? 

Too many questions now.

It’s something that bothers most.

Harsh. Unwanted. Testing. Maybe destructive.

But to me distance is a miracle waiting to happen. 

It will only make one stronger; us or me and you.

Exactly like the purple sky. 

Warm and cold and so mysterious.

Welcoming you into the dark lonely night only to wake you up to a brighter sky.

Look deeper, there lies much to be discovered. 
Like the speckles of dust that run through the light; every particle that grooves - so magnificent and magical. 
How would you ever notice it, if not for that brief pause?

Quintessential.

I am an old soul; a hopeless romantic. 
If you wouldn’t be so far and I couldn’t breathe you. 
How else would I ever know? 

That sumptuous intimate warmth. 
Much like when two lovers hold hands for the first time. 

-Dedicated to purple skies, stars and great conversations. 
 To every person that matters, far and close; friends and family- Thank you!