The Start to a New Beginning..

The start to a new beginning...

So I've been meaning to write a blog, rather start my own for the past 2 years and each time I would get stuck at the point where I had to choose a topic. So over the last few days I have been having this very strong urge to write and then suddenly tonight it struck me-my topic!

And how did it strike? I’m sitting with my laptop on, telling my dearest friend how I've been wanting to write but can’t find any inspiration and at the same time reflecting upon whatever I have been feeling about myself and life over the past few days rather the past three years and then in my mind pops up this question, “what is the most difficult part of when you want to start with something?” and the answer I come up with is “the start”. So there came my topic.

We all think of so many things we want to do or aspire to do for ourselves, our family, our friends or it could be for just anyone or anything. But how many of us are actually able to act upon those thoughts of ours? More so especially after a failure, when we fail to get to our goal. All of us have heard the famous quotes- how brave are those who not just win, but have the courage to pull themselves up after a failure or how failure is the essence of success and so on. We hear them all the time and also use them often to encourage our dear ones. But what about us, ourselves? Why does it become so difficult to gather courage to do something, to work for something after a failure?

I had a dream about what I wanted my life to be like in college. I dream't about it all the time, of the colleges I wanted to be in. And when things went haywire, when that dream could not come true I would just spend all my time feeling sad, feeling angry and feeling dejected. Alas the taste of failure ain't good but I slowly pulled up my socks after realizing those feelings won’t help me and failure is not just about me not being able to live my dream but more so about me now wasting my time feeling sad and dejected over something in the past. I knew, for I had the realization that I could still turn things around for me. All that I needed to do was to think positive and work upon it. Sadly till now I have never been able to bring myself up to the point of working on it. It’s like I fear that i might fail again. But does one single non-achievement have so much power, that it can lead to a path of self-destruction or self-underestimation? Why even after knowing that it actually is no failure am I not able to gather up the courage to set my boat a sail? I keep looking for ways to do. I come up with like a billion ideas, but I never work on them! Am I so afraid of facing what lies ahead, thinking that it’ll mostly be failure and so a safer bet is to hold onto this boat rather than letting it sink deeper?

 From within I can still hear a voice, saying I am just being silly for I am wasting my life this way.It is all about that start now and all I need is a little push, like a source of motivation, self-motivation. And the start lies around me, within me..... I just need to have a little more faith in myself, in life. I have this one life and only I can figure out ways for myself, I just need to keep my mind open to all the wonderful things that life has to offer to me and shut my mind to all the things that are proving a hindrance to this start. It is time to get things together and start working hard. Yes, the start is not going to be like a bed of roses, I will have to be very patient and keep working hard. After all how can life be so much fun with it just being all so easy, I guess it’s the struggle that adds so many elements to it without which it wouldn't be meaningful at all!

Well, I am glad I finally wrote this article though it may not be all that refined and polished in terms of its objective but then I feel like I've finally found my new start....!